Dentist Huntersville NC Emotional Effects of Divorce on Children

One thing that seems to bother parents is the emotional effects of divorce on children. They may be worried enough to decide divorce is not "the right thing to do" and try to save their marriage. They may also realize that divorce is inevitable but be concerned with concern about how it is affecting their children.

It is important, then, that parents have a clear idea of what exactly the psychological effects of divorce on their children may be. They can then make a sound decision about divorce and work throughout divorce to minimize or avoid them altogether.

Rejected
The children of the divorce are left feeling rejected and unloved by the parent who has left. This makes little sense until we remember that children perceive themselves as the center of the universe. Therefore, everything that happens must have something to do with them.

At fault
A deep sense of guilt and shame may overcome them because they believe the divorce is their fault, caused by something they said or did, or just the way they are. Teens who are going through a rough time may think that their behavior has contributed to the divorce and made it easier for a parent to leave.

Powerless
Children tend to believe they can also fix things because they believe that they are responsible for the problems. They believe that they by becoming better children and go to great lengths to become helpful and appealing children because they believe that they have the power to keep their parents together. The children feel powerless and upset that they cannot make a difference, when this does not happen or when their often elaborate plans and hopes for reconciliation fail.

Stressed
At a time that is already stressful enough during divorce children may feel stressed and under pressure to do more than they can realistically cope with. For instance, they may volunteer to take on extra duties at home or be burdened with extra responsibilities like it or not. They may also be used as a confidante and advisor by one or both parents, a role that even teens are not qualified for or comfortable with. They may hide how stressed they really are in their eagerness to help out and to look grown up.

Lonely
The loneliness may overcome children of divorce. What they may really be missing is the intimacy, comfort and particular parenting skills of the absent parent. The parent at home may be so wrapped up in their own problems that they are not available to their children. Not having time to spend with their playmates may be caused by the prevailing situation. The children may end up seeking intimacy elsewhere or become depressed.

Angry
Specific events and changes, emotions that children are not equipped to manage or express, is a common emotional effect of divorce cause anger by a lack of understanding or acceptance of the divorce. The anger in children is not always shown. The reasons for the divorce are not so obvious when it brings to an end a low-conflict marriage can bring this anger out. Because they term the divorce as unnecessary, the children end-up hating their parents for doing it.